The difference between gays and transgenders

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The difference between gays and transgenders

By Ms Chor Lor | March 1, 2009 | 389 views

For some people, they always mix up gays with transgenders. Just because they think that gays like men and transgenders also is a “man” who likes men, they tagged them together and give them a general tag “gays” or “homos”.

But actually they are wrong and very disrespectful to us both.

First let’s talk about gays. Yes, a gay is usually a man who likes another man. They can either like a top, manly macho man or they can like a sissy acting gay. But they will never like a transgender. Especially one who has become a woman or living as a woman.

Now that’s where the sissy gays and transgenders comes in. Often people will call such sissy “ahqua”, then they will also call transgenders “ahqua”. Ok, maybe to them, any man that is like a woman is tagged “ahqua”. But you got to take note that a sissy may not necessary become a transgender one day. He may not wants to be a woman at all. They just behave in that way and they could be forever like that, being just a sissy gay. On the other hand, some of them will, as quite a lotful of transgenders do pass a path of being a sissy gay before they actually realise they are transgenders instead. This is like a path of wrong identity, seeking their real identity, when they thought they were and yet realise what they really were one day.

As for a transgender, they are usually already affected with the thoughts of being a woman, dressing up and stuffs since young. They will become a woman, going through any surgeries or sort to be what they want. But a sissy gay will never want to go for any surgeries or to be a woman.

And people always felt that being transgendered is a psychological or mental problem, but medically, it is due to our what X and Y genes stuffs like that. It is not something that you just overnight decided to be one. It is something after so many years of discovering and searching, that you realise what you are. It is not a habit that you just pick up from friends. Just ask, if you hang around gays, do you actually become a gay? If you hang around transgenders, do you actually become one? It is just something that was with us since we were born. Call it some “defects” or whatever you like, but we are just born like that, a woman trapped in a man’s body. None of us will chose to be like that if given a choice. Did you chose to be a man when you are born? Did you chose to be a woman when you are born? Did we chose to be a transgender when we are born? No!

As for a gay relationship, it is always a man and a man,whether they are sissy or not. But a transgender relationship, it is always a woman and a man, though some of you don’t even see this transgender as a woman, but in the eyes of the people who will accept them, can accept them, knows them, loves them, they are as much as any other woman, and had never treated them as a man.

The sissy gays may behave girly, but they may not even want to wear a dress even if you ask them to.

Gays and transgenders are very often good friends. Like I said, partly because some transgenders were once gays before they realise they are actually “woman”. So they use to hang around together.

It’s a complex thing about the whole GLBT. Due to the ignorance and lack of knowledge and education to the general people, they often have mis-perceptions of them and do not really understand us, who we are, what we are and why we are like this. Thus, the unknown, the unfamiliar, becomes a kind of taboo to them, a ‘plaque” that they avoid and run from.

We are all living among you, stepping on this same soil and earth just like you, living a life just like you. Accept it or not.