Memories of the MIRC Part 1

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Memories of the MIRC Part 1

By Ms Chor Lor | December 21, 2009 | 354 views

I first started playing the IRC back in 1995 I think. Almost until 2003, I started one channel of my own, which is call #ladyboys. A few of us sistas who knew each other were the moderators and regulars inside. Then came all the stupid guys who only know how to ask for sex all day long.

But nevertheless, we also had quite a handful of decent guys that we got to know from inside. Eventually, we got to meet up as a friend for coffee. And we eventually kept in contact as well. Some will call us jie, and they like become our di like that. I also had my decent share of ex BF who came from IRC as well. And there was this sista who also ended up together with one of the guys inside as well, and they are happily together now.

So actually, though there are the despo guys hanging around day in day out, when you are lucky, you will still come across one of those almost extinct decent men.

In 2005, i forgot to log in for a month, and so my owner authority was gone. Cause in iRC, if you don’t log in and authenticate for more than a month, you will lose your channel.

4 years later now, I tried going to IRC once again. i forgot so many of the commands and functions. Another sista had started a new channel almost the same as mine. I was surprised and shocked to see many fo my old friends still hanging around inside! lolx.

It’s like the in things nowadays are Facebook, MSN, blog, forums, Twitter etc. We seldom hear of the word IRC anymore, it was as if it had became extinct! So when I see some long no contact friends inside, I was like so happy!

It also reminds me of many sweet romantic memories I once had inside.

Long ago, I went into a channel which I do not remember what channel. There were only a few of us inside, not more than 20. So my sista and I will pretend to be ‘girls’ and go inside to ‘hiao’ around, chatting with guys.

There was this guy who uses the nick of ‘Snowman’. So me and my sista will always change our nick and disturb him. We will use nicks such as ‘Snowgirl’, ‘Snowwife’ blah blah. Sort of trying to be a couple with him.

Eventually, me and him will always private chat as well. Talking about everything. I did not told him I was trans that time yet, cause I was young and playful, and I thought since we are just chatting online, will never meet in person, not necessary to let him know the truth. At least then, we can always be a virtual friend online.

I remember I was quiet young then, probably early 20 or below 20. He’s in university I think. Soon, it became a habit that we chatted everyday. Everyday he come home from school, he will quickly log in and look for me. If I am not around, he will just park around in the channel and wait for me. He also never talked to anyone else, but just wait for me. Then we will both always use romantic nicks, mostly Snowman and Snowgirl. Then my sista will always tease us as the loving perfect couple in the channel.

Everything was so sweet, so romantic, so fairy tale……………….

Soon, he really like treat me as the GF and will always report to me his whereabouts. Such as if he will be late home tomorrow, going out with friends, he will tell me and ask me not to wait or expect him. But end of the day, he came back in the middle of the night, 3am, he will quickly came into the channel and see if I am still around. And he will be like so happy if I am. Then we will usually chat till the morning.

Unknowingly, I realise I also seem to have fall in love with this virtual guy. During that time, I am already long hair and looks like girl. But still flat chested though. So I knew there is no hope that he will fall in love with me after he knew the truth.

One day, he finally told me his feelings. He told me he seem to have fall in love with me too. That everyday, he will just hope to quickly reach home and go online find me. That he will hope to meet me in person, and if everything goes well, he will want me to be his GF.

I was in a dilemma. I told myself I have a few choices. One is to disappear from his life forever, not going to the channel anymore so he will forget me. One is to not meet him at all, but just forever chat with him online and just be happy to have him as a virtual BF. Lastly, is to tell him the truth, risking losing him forever, even as a friend, or maybe just fantasize that a fairy tale will come true, he will still like me and accept me……………

Finally I told him to give me his email. I told him I will write him a mail and ask him to go read it later.

In my mail I wrote something like,

I need to tell you the truth, I am actually a transgender and that I am still a guy in physical. Hope you will forgive me for not telling you the truth earlier, cause I never expect things to come to this stage and I thought we can just be friends. You can hate me and don’t talk to me anymore, I won’t blame you. But I hope you will still accept me as a friend.

So, if you think you hate me and don’t wish to see me anymore, don’t log into the channel. If you can forgive me and still treat me as a friend, log in using the nick Snow. If you think you will still like me now that you know the truth, please log in with the nick Snowman. I will wait for you in the channel.

I attached in a photo of me. I waited…………….

Then someone log in. Snow…………..

I was happy that he will still talk to me and treat me as a friend. But at the same time, I was sad. I kept quiet for a while. I admit that in my heart, did wish for that little fairy tale………………I cried…………..

That was the first time a stupid me, that ever cries for a virtual guy I knew online, whom I never met before and I fell in love with. Oh ya, when we both fell in love, we both do not know how each other look like at all. We only knew each other’s height and weight and description.

I remembered I cried a lot. From then onwards, though we are still both in the channel, we seldom chat in private anymore. Soon, I left the channel. Cause I do not wish to live in a fairy tale anymore too. And since then, everytime I chat with people on IRC, I always told them that I am a transgender beforehand.

I will always remember this sweet memory, because it is just like a fairy tale to me. Though it was a short and fruitless romance, it was a fairy tale I will never forget.

Snowman……………I wonder how are you doing now. If you are reading this, I wonder if you will still remember me…………..

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